”Death to false metal” – Everyone

Akira Metal on Frostburn – ”It’s ACTUALLY pretty good!”

“It’s metal, epic, and also cheeky and fun. Like playing pingpong with a soulforged runeblade.” – Random Minion

“This music is akin to watching a community theater production of Excalibur, while a freshly shaved and oiled pool boy massages your back and feeds you liqueur filled chocolates while humming the soundtrack to the Dungeons and Dragons Movie Starring Marlon Wayans (I swear it’s real).” – Actual Internet Comment

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Akira Metal invents new ”strongest guitar string ever”. Tunes below audible levels; elephants start headbanging

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Brown note discovered; Pontifex Mortis vows to ”never play that note again”.

Critics rave about Lords of the Trident: ”I wish I had time to grow a mullet out for this!”

After watching the LORDS: “I can’t tell if I’ve done a lot of drugs, or had a lot of sex!” – Concertgoer

Medium channels ghost of Dio so he can listen to Frostburn; ”It’s what he would’ve wanted” – Dio’s Estate

Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickenson Admits: ”Yes, I took a few vocal lessons from Fang.”

”Frostburn” preemptively banned in 36 countries by the UN. Germany fears riots