”Death to false metal” – Everyone
( . Y . )
“When you’re on a month-long tour, you learn to covertly masturbate in public bathrooms.” – Anonymous Sage Advice Guy
Asian Metal on Frostburn – ”It’s ACTUALLY pretty good!”
“It’s metal, epic, and also cheeky and fun. Like playing pingpong with a soulforged runeblade.” – Random Minion
Medium channels ghost of Dio so he can listen to Frostburn; ”It’s what he would’ve wanted” – Dio’s Estate
“This music is akin to watching a community theater production of Excalibur, while a freshly shaved and oiled pool boy massages your back and feeds you liqueur filled chocolates while humming the soundtrack to the Dungeons and Dragons Movie Starring Marlon Wayans (I swear it’s real).” – Actual Internet Comment
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Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickenson Admits: ”Yes, I took a few vocal lessons from Fang.”
Asian Metal invents new ”strongest guitar string ever”. Tunes below audible levels; elephants start headbanging
”Frostburn” preemptively banned in 36 countries by the UN. Germany fears riots
After watching the LORDS: “I can’t tell if I’ve done a lot of drugs, or had a lot of sex!” – Concertgoer
Critics rave about Lords of the Trident: ”I wish I had time to grow a mullet out for this!”
Brown note discovered; Pontifex Mortis vows to ”never play that note again”.

Recent News and Upcoming Battles:

Thursday April 6
7:00 pm - 11:55 pm Kansas City, MO – BLVD Nights
Friday April 7
Saturday April 8
Sunday April 9
7:00 pm - 11:55 pm Phoenix, AZ – Yucca Tap Room
Monday April 10
Wednesday April 12
Thursday April 13
Saturday April 15
Friday June 2
7:00 pm - 11:55 pm Madison, WI – The Crucible
No event found!