“When you’re on a month-long tour, you learn to covertly masturbate in public bathrooms.” – Anonymous Sage Advice Guy
“This music is akin to watching a community theater production of Excalibur, while a freshly shaved and oiled pool boy massages your back and feeds you liqueur filled chocolates while humming the soundtrack to the Dungeons and Dragons Movie Starring Marlon Wayans (I swear it’s real).” – Actual Internet Comment
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Asian Metal invents new ”strongest guitar string ever”. Tunes below audible levels; elephants start headbanging
After watching the LORDS: “I can’t tell if I’ve done a lot of drugs, or had a lot of sex!” – Concertgoer
”Frostburn” preemptively banned in 36 countries by the UN. Germany fears riots
Medium channels ghost of Dio so he can listen to Frostburn; ”It’s what he would’ve wanted” – Dio’s Estate
Asian Metal on Frostburn – ”It’s ACTUALLY pretty good!”
Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickenson Admits: ”Yes, I took a few vocal lessons from Fang.”
Brown note discovered; Pontifex Mortis vows to ”never play that note again”.
”Death to false metal” – Everyone
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Critics rave about Lords of the Trident: ”I wish I had time to grow a mullet out for this!”
“It’s metal, epic, and also cheeky and fun. Like playing pingpong with a soulforged runeblade.” – Random Minion

Recent News and Upcoming Battles:

Saturday April 15
No event found!